the stress of wedding planning

I’ve worked with so many people who are dealing with overwhelming stress of wedding planning. I know firsthand how stressful planning a wedding can be! I planned my own wedding just last year (2023) and so I get it. But, its not just the planning of the wedding that is stressful. There all of the tasks of course. But there is also the related financial stress. We all know how expensive weddings can be!

In fact, getting married itself is one of the BIG life stressors. A lot of times, the stress of the wedding planning is what’s bothering us in the moment, but there are a lot of other current stressors (work and life), past trauma, grief, and stress, as well as the marriage itself that has been building up. The planning is not the whole of it, but that on top of everything else can make it feel absolutely overwhelming.

You don’t want this time in your life to be full of stress, which prevents you from enjoying this exciting milestone, and all the moments of joy throughout the planning process. Stress also seems to impact our weight and our health- which are two things you don’t want to compromise with your wedding coming up. You want to go into your wedding feeling calm, confident, and at your best- both mentally and physically.

I want to share with you the top coping tools that I have found that can be so helpful during these life stressors. These can also apply to other stressful life transitions - even those stressors (like a wedding) that are positive. An event or change being positive does not make it stress-free!

coping tools you can use right now:

1) Exercise. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again- exercise is one of the best activities to help manage stress. Even (and probably especially) walking is incredibly helpful. It puts very minimal stress on the body, and allows you time to clear your mind, give you a break from wedding planning, and also releases those feel-good chemicals that tend to improve our mood. You can do whatever exercise works well for you, and if you need a quick relief from feeling overwhelmed with anxiety or intense emotions, doing intense exercise for a brief period will also help your body and mind to calm down.

2) Practicing mindfulness or meditation. Unless you are an experienced meditator, I highly recommend using some recorded guided mindfulness exercises. Practicing this daily, even for a few minutes per day can be helpful. You can also try a guided progressive muscle relaxation, which helps reduce anxiety by reducing tension in your body, and teaching you to be more aware of when you are holding tension. Here is a really nice website I recommend for recorded mindfulness exercises: https://mindfulwaythroughanxiety.com/exercises/

3) Schedule times to worry/focus on wedding tasks. Many people feel like they sleep and breathe wedding planning (at least I know I did). Schedule times in your calendar to focus on wedding planning or even thinking or worrying about wedding stuff. During your scheduled “worry time” you can write down all the things you are thinking about- whether they are ideas, tasks you need to complete, or just things you are worried about, it will help to get them out of your head so you aren’t constently thinking and worrying about them. I suggest scheduling maybe a half hour to an hour a day for “worry time” and setting aside time each week to focus on planning. Then anytime you notice you are thinking and worrying about these things outside of your scheduled time, you remind yourself you will focus on that during those planned and scheduled times. This allows you that break that you truly need.

4) Take a break! Wedding planning will still be there when you come back. So take a break for a week and focus on relaxation and self care. Do the things that help YOU to feel relaxed. If you can get away on a short vacation or go to a spa, that’s great. If you can’t, simply taking some days off and spending time with your partner or a friend doing things that are fun, relaxing, and enjoyable for both of you. This helps you actually enjoy this process and not become burnt out.

Thanks so much for reading and hope this was helpful. I look forward to sharing more tips and tools with you again as I continue to blog. I would love to hear your comments and questions, so feel free to share with me via the contact form, or emailing me directly at believeinyourselfcounseling@gmail.com. Thank you!